Then Bridger got sick. What surprised me more than anything is that instead of ceasing the talk of future babies it increased it. Possibly because we were so against it. The question changed from "when" to "WILL you ever have another baby?" For a long time it was always absolutely not.
Why would I make another sick baby?
Why would I make another child suffer?
Why would a make a sibling watch his/her older brother suffer through seizures and have pills being forced into his gut over and over again?
It is too expensive to have have TWO sick babies.
The list could go on forever.
Things have started to change for our family. Bridger has done better than any of the doctors thought possible. Shamefully even better than I thought possible. Jake always knew Bridger would pull through and at times I resented him for it because I could never see it. We are becoming more comfortable with the cards that have been dealt to us. We are stronger parents and a stronger couple because of Bridger. To answer your two questions:
"Will you ever have another baby:"
I have read many posts about blogs that are written about having babies because you CAN have babies. This is not the case for us. We want to have another baby because Bridger NEEDS a sibling. He loves other children and babies and he NEEDS that connection. Sibling love and friendship is not something that parents can provide. Despite the small chance that we could have another sick baby it is worth giving Bridger that companionship. Bridger will have the capability of buoying up a sick sibling and comforting them in a way that we cannot as parents. He will be a strength not only to his sibling in illness but in health and achievements. He will be able to lead and be an example of how hard work, persistence, faith, and determination pays off. It is amazing to me how strong little souls can be. How could I possibly deny that opportunity for Bridger and his future sibling(s)?
"When will you have another baby:"
This is a harder question to answer. Bridger is on his last week of Sabril. We do not know when we will start to wean him off of the Phenobarbital. As far as we know he has not had any seizures. As I have mentioned the age of 2 is generally when it is determined whether or not your child will continue to have seizures or not. Jake and I both feel like it would be best if we wait until we are at least off of the Phenobarbital and past the 2 year mark. I would also like Bridger to be walking and possibly saying some words other than baby swear words. That is all I can give you for that question.
We know that someday Bridger will have a sibling. In fact we have both had dreams about this future sibling. We even know the gender! Weird I know but dreams are kind of special in our family. I have personally had many dreams that have come true. Some good others not. I dreamed about my first child being a baby boy and I also dreamed about Bridger relapsing with his seizures...among other things.
Hopefully these answers will keep all of you crazy-baby-hungry people *cough*-grandparents-*cough* at bay for awhile. There will definitely be another baby Stallings, just be patient. Bridger has some important older sibling duties to fulfill and an amazing relationship to establish.
What a great future to look forward to.