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Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Team Bridger Race: A massive SUCCESS!!!

My husband says I can be really weepy sometimes.  I'll try to keep my "weepiness" to a minimum.  Saturday's race was incredible!  Regardless of how freezing cold it was to begin with the turn out was great.  My heart is touched by how many people showed up to support Bridger in his great battle.  Bridger is a fighter and he was surrounded by fighters that day.  The course was long, the road was sometimes steep and rough, but we all made it and that my friends is a success.
 
What a good looking group:) What AWESOME shirts too!!!  Thanks again MISTY!!!




On the Monday before the race we had a to take Bridger up to Primary's to see the neurologist.  Bridger's seizures had been back for about a month and we had little success of stopping them.  He was even beginning to have weird seizures in his sleep.  He would space out a lot through out the day and just lay there.  Smiles?  Didn't exist.  We were feeling pretty helpless.  Our neurologist was encouraging but he felt like we may need to either hospitalize Bridger for the weekend or start him back up on a medication called phenobarbital because it seemed to help before.  We really didn't want to miss the race but we didn't want to make a bad call just because of a race either.
Ultimately we decided if the seizures didn't stop by Thursday Bridger would be hospitalized.  With that decision we went home with a massive dose of phenobarbital and overloaded Bridger on it for a day which basically put him in a "pheno-coma."  Bridger was out cold on Tuesday and Wednesday but we didn't see any seizures at all.  It seemed positive.  On Thursday Bridger woke up with the biggest and goofiest grin we had seen in months.  It was like he was saying, "Hey guys!  I'm back!"
He was and is still back!  It was like nothing ever happened.  He is talking an extra lot to make up for everything he didn't get to say for the past month and he is as "happy as a clam" as my Aunt Cora would say.  Seriously he talks a ton.  Even at 1:30am.  I think I've said this before but I will say it again:

My baby is smiling and I know that even if it goes away again it will always, ALWAYS, come back!      




HAPPY BABY!!!!
Bridger is a medical mystery/miracle!  Because of that we were able to make it to the race and be surrounded by massive amounts of support.  Bridger only slept for a MILE of the race.  The rest of the time he laughed and cooed to all the cute girls.  He growled when we ran past Primary Children's (he knows what THAT place is) and was the happiest when we carried him on our shoulders.  Instead of being pushed passed the finish he wanted to be on daddy's shoulders seeing the whole world and smiling as we crossed the line.  What a great day!  What a great week!  Thank you everyone for your support.  We are very blessed.  Bridger sends his smiles to you all :)    

Yay!!! 

Friday, October 18, 2013

Fire or Water?

I read about a man whose disabled son recently died.  He talked about how through out the course of his son's life and after his death he never once felt anger.  He explained that the fire of anger consumes and destroys.  Whereas water renews and brings life.  He ended stating, "Rather than scorching the soil of my soul, I will water it with my tears and hope to grow."

Once upon a time there was a young couple who loved each other very much.  The had great jobs and were at a good place in their life but the wife felt like something was missing.  So they decided to have a baby.  It took a couple losses but finally the wife became pregnant.  Before they knew it a perfect little boy was born and they named him Bridger.
Bridger entered the world with a wild personality.  He smiled, played, and did everything a normal little boy was supposed to do.  He had everyone wrapped around his little finger and he knew how to get his way.  Things seemed to have fallen perfectly into place for the young couple.

But then Bridger got sick.

Bridger was diagnosed with a catastrophic seizure disorder.  The young couple's hearts were broken.  Bridger immediately began medical treatments.  The once happy boy turned into a bloated, swollen and sad shell of what used to be their precious baby.  After multiple medications failing the parent's opted to using a more dangerous medication on their baby.  After only one dose of the medication Bridger's seizures stopped.

It was a miracle.

Slowly as the affects of the previous medications wore off and the chaotic brain waves ceased Bridger began to come out of his shell.  He no longer had the wild personality.  It was instead replaced with this incredible happiness.  Bridger could not seem to get enough out of life.  He smiled and chatted to everyone he met.  He caught up developmentally and life fell back into place again.  Their baby boy was back.

Then that morning came.

As the young mom was sitting with Bridger on her lap a movement caught her eye that she thought she would only have to see in her nightmares.  Laying her boy on the bed she hoped that she was wrong.  Not after taking so many chances could they be coming back.  Not after so much work, prayers, and tears could they come back.  But they did.  Bridger's seizures and relapsed and broken through the medication.

Now Bridger is on full doses of not only one but two dangerous medications along with another common seizure drug.  The medication is not working this time.  Bridger continues to seize up to three times a day and they are worsening each time.  The new medication is also causing the bloated and sad baby to reappear again.  Although Bridger is fighting it there are often moments of the day where all he does is lay silently as if in defeat, tired from the chaos of the brain waves and the mixture of the multiple medications in his system.

As the young mom helplessly watches her baby slowly spiral downwards all she feels is anger.  It's cruel to finally find success and relief only to have the snatched away once again.  He is the sweetest, kindest, happiest baby and he does not deserve this.  The young mom surrounds herself with the fire of anger.  Too angry to even weep for yet again losing her child to this merciless disease and the drug side affects.  How can fire be turned to water?  How can new growth be allowed when it seems to die before it gets a chance to bloom?   Although the young mom is tempted to turn fire to water the fear of more tragedy holds her anger in place.  

Perhaps in time fire will turn to water and growth will happen once more.  New growth seems so appealing yet completely out of reach for the young couple who just wanted to bring that missing piece into their life.              


                

Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Here we go again!

I've decided it is time to restart the blogging again.  It seemed to always give me a chance to sweep the cobwebs out and let the thoughts in my head run wild.  Which may not always be a good thing I suppose?  You're welcome.

Little Bridger continues to bring smiles wherever he goes.  It doesn't matter if we are at the grocery store, home, or in the hospital getting stuck by needles all the time.  He is ALWAYS happy.  I could learn from that.  How is it possible that a little guy with a seizure disorder that seems to turn his brain into mush can be SO-darn-it-all happy?  I don't know.

All I do know is that he always makes us happy!  Even when as parents we are worrying ourselves sick over him he always makes us smile.  Isn't it nice that regardless of whatever horribleness is going on around us our little guy is able to take care of us?  Seems kind of backwards maybe?  Let's just say we're grateful to have the happiest baby around.  Maybe some of that happy voodoo needs to start coming more from us too :)

Finally...
 BEFORE...(one month ago)
     

AFTER...(now)

Funny right???  Ha!  He weighs the same in both pictures to boot!  Gotta love steroids.  Glad we could make you smile today :) Have a lovely day :)