I read about a man whose disabled son recently died. He talked about how through out the course of his son's life and after his death he never once felt anger. He explained that the fire of anger consumes and destroys. Whereas water renews and brings life. He ended stating, "Rather than scorching the soil of my soul, I will water it with my tears and hope to grow."
Once upon a time there was a young couple who loved each other very much. The had great jobs and were at a good place in their life but the wife felt like something was missing. So they decided to have a baby. It took a couple losses but finally the wife became pregnant. Before they knew it a perfect little boy was born and they named him Bridger.
Bridger entered the world with a wild personality. He smiled, played, and did everything a normal little boy was supposed to do. He had everyone wrapped around his little finger and he knew how to get his way. Things seemed to have fallen perfectly into place for the young couple.
But then Bridger got sick.
Bridger was diagnosed with a catastrophic seizure disorder. The young couple's hearts were broken. Bridger immediately began medical treatments. The once happy boy turned into a bloated, swollen and sad shell of what used to be their precious baby. After multiple medications failing the parent's opted to using a more dangerous medication on their baby. After only one dose of the medication Bridger's seizures stopped.
It was a miracle.
Slowly as the affects of the previous medications wore off and the chaotic brain waves ceased Bridger began to come out of his shell. He no longer had the wild personality. It was instead replaced with this incredible happiness. Bridger could not seem to get enough out of life. He smiled and chatted to everyone he met. He caught up developmentally and life fell back into place again. Their baby boy was back.
Then that morning came.
As the young mom was sitting with Bridger on her lap a movement caught her eye that she thought she would only have to see in her nightmares. Laying her boy on the bed she hoped that she was wrong. Not after taking so many chances could they be coming back. Not after so much work, prayers, and tears could they come back. But they did. Bridger's seizures and relapsed and broken through the medication.
Now Bridger is on full doses of not only one but two dangerous medications along with another common seizure drug. The medication is not working this time. Bridger continues to seize up to three times a day and they are worsening each time. The new medication is also causing the bloated and sad baby to reappear again. Although Bridger is fighting it there are often moments of the day where all he does is lay silently as if in defeat, tired from the chaos of the brain waves and the mixture of the multiple medications in his system.
As the young mom helplessly watches her baby slowly spiral downwards all she feels is anger. It's cruel to finally find success and relief only to have the snatched away once again. He is the sweetest, kindest, happiest baby and he does not deserve this. The young mom surrounds herself with the fire of anger. Too angry to even weep for yet again losing her child to this merciless disease and the drug side affects. How can fire be turned to water? How can new growth be allowed when it seems to die before it gets a chance to bloom? Although the young mom is tempted to turn fire to water the fear of more tragedy holds her anger in place.
Perhaps in time fire will turn to water and growth will happen once more. New growth seems so appealing yet completely out of reach for the young couple who just wanted to bring that missing piece into their life.
