Recently we had a patient at our hospital that has dealt with severe epileptic problems his entire life. Tell me if I'm violating HIPPA at all through out this story guys! He was in his upper 40's I think. He wasn't all that responsive from what I gathered. He had the best mom. She came in every day and stayed with him for hours. I always admired her from afar. Since Bridger's problems started I've always tried to be strong like her. One day I finally got the courage to go in and talk to her a little bit. She was one of the first few people that I went and openly talked to about Bridger. I didn't want to bombard her so I waited for a similarity that her and my boy had. They ended up having some of the same medication I think? Anyways after that we got to talking about his story and Bridger's story and she became a wonderful friend, advocate, and greater strength to me. Going to work was extremely difficult for me but she would always come and chat with me and cheer me up. She helped me a lot. I wish I knew where they were now because I have so much to thank her for.
I know I don't generally bring this up but I want to talk about God. Rarely do I give God as much credit as He deserves. Have you ever read the poem Footprints In The Sand? As I look back at our struggles this poem always seems to come to my mind. I'm sure that quite literally we have been carried in His hands the entire time. No way could we as mere parent's have done this on our own. No matter how amazing Jake is (not that I could do this without him either)! I truly admire people that have the ability to go through awful trials with nothing to lean on. I am not that strong. There is a scripture in Alma 26:12 that says:
Yea, I know that I am nothing; as to my strength I am weak; therefore I will not boast of myself, but I will boast of my God, for in his strength I can do all things; yea, behold, many mighty miracles we have wrought in this land which we will praise his name forever.
I will never be able to boast of my strength in all of this because there is no way I could have done this without God. I have been able to do things that I never thought I could emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually handle. Having a sick child was one of my worse fears. When I understood the severity of Bridger's condition I locked myself into a bathroom and cried for what seemed like an eternity. When the doctors came in God was able to slap me into shape so that I could face them and take charge. I say this so often but I am NOT a confrontational person. I do not like going against the flow of things. I do not like to question authority (although I know my parent's and husband would suggest otherwise). I've been blessed with strength through God to be able to be a strong advocate for my child. I've become someone that I had no idea existed and again because of God it has been possible. I'm definitely not walking on my own yet. I guarantee God is still carrying me but perhaps soon I will be able to take some timid steps on my own. I doubt I'll ever be able to walk by myself because I need to lean on God so much.
I suppose my message to everyone is that God is awesome! I try not to smother my beliefs on people but wow no way could we be where we are now without Him. Plus it's Sunday so I feel like I get a freebie with the whole God talking thing :). We have been blessed with many tender mercies. We have seen many miracles and I hope we continue to see them. I'm full of great scripture today too! My last thought is this:
Nevertheless the Lord seeth fit to chasten his people; yea, he trieth their patience and their faith. Nevertheless- whosoever putteth his trust in him the same shall be lifted up at the last day. Yea, and thus it was with this people.
Mosiah 23:21-22
For behold, are we not all beggars? Do we not all depend upon the same Being, even God, for all the substance...which we have of every kind?
Mosiah 4:19
Ha! Tricked you! Two final thoughts :) Love you all have a great Sunday and THANK YOU for all your support.
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